Bullshit.

Been a while, again.

So, I'm starting to rot again. it's Christmasy time and I feel like shit, like many other people. Been playing guitar less and less. Just want to lay in bed most the time...

I can't stand the thought of being here until I'm eighteen. It destroys me. I'm leaving... hopefully soon.

I suppose I haven't written in so long that people have forget the site, or just don't care, which is fine with me. Haven't talked to Jaz in a while... hm. Though, what's the point, right? Maybe I'm just using that in terms of everything. But, gah... Everything's just irking me to extreme despair. I don't want to do anything anymore. Not now anyway.

Been hanging on to some BM ambiance and Post-Rock stuff. Epics... But it makes me think too much. I mean, thinking is perfectly awesome, but too much thought just makes me want to suicide, you know?

I don't want obligations anymore. I just want to do what I want. I want out of Alaska, I want to express myself to the goddamn world and make people see things for once, I want to Lay down in that beautiful field and just blow time with my pals. Most of all, I want to meet someone who understands me. Who cares past empathy, who gives advice. I don't someone who'll judge me, I...

I want some impossible, probably. Impossible for up here, anyway. Even the smart kids still cling to torturous morals and sickening social standards.

Like I've said before, I'm either leaving Alaska, or I'm gong to die. I don't want to live here. Ever. Again.