Fucking Pizza. I will miss it. =\
So, Jamie's pals sound cool. Jaz says they aren't douches, with the exception of one, who sounds like a major druggie. I shall see. :ninja
I wish he'd send some fucking pictures >: If I can't be down there, I'd at least like to know what's going on, or at least FEEL like I'm there...
huh... Otherwise, Same shit. Music, Guitar, Homework, Internet Socialization. Fun...
Surprisingly, I feel this is a waste of a post. Meh.
-------------------------------------------------------------
4/29/2008
4/28/2008
Crust-eze
Jamie found himself a bunch of squatting friends. What a bitch. ;-;
Apparently, theres A Crusty, His girl, His other girl, her friend, a dub guy, and a street punk. [Or something like that.]
I tried to call him, but he didn't answer. I left a message... He;s probably out with them right now. Apparently he's going ape-shit over these guys. He keeps talking to Jaz about them.
No surprise I guess, It's only natural that he'd go ape-shit over meeting a punk/crusty/squatter outside of us. Though I do find it funny. He's usually more composed than us. The only thing I'd go ape-shit over down there is picking up techniques and styles of guitar off of some other comrades. Maybe forming a band. That'd be most epic.
Speaking of which, I think I'm back into my guitar groove. Starting to make more songs, which means I'm feeling a bit better. Coo-coo. Otherwise, things are semi-ok. I'm still starving at the end of the day, still bored off my ass, still can't contact Jamie. But I'm good.
Another reason I haven't been posting albums is because I only have so much music over here. The rest is at my mom's place... But I think It's time to share some more.
--------------------------------------
The Flash Attacks
Pray For Death
Great band out of Maryland. Actually found them on Shitspace, ha. Not sure what genre you'd call them... traditional? Meh. Great band.
http://www.mediafire.com/?nyuhystjwil
Apparently, theres A Crusty, His girl, His other girl, her friend, a dub guy, and a street punk. [Or something like that.]
I tried to call him, but he didn't answer. I left a message... He;s probably out with them right now. Apparently he's going ape-shit over these guys. He keeps talking to Jaz about them.
No surprise I guess, It's only natural that he'd go ape-shit over meeting a punk/crusty/squatter outside of us. Though I do find it funny. He's usually more composed than us. The only thing I'd go ape-shit over down there is picking up techniques and styles of guitar off of some other comrades. Maybe forming a band. That'd be most epic.
Speaking of which, I think I'm back into my guitar groove. Starting to make more songs, which means I'm feeling a bit better. Coo-coo. Otherwise, things are semi-ok. I'm still starving at the end of the day, still bored off my ass, still can't contact Jamie. But I'm good.
Another reason I haven't been posting albums is because I only have so much music over here. The rest is at my mom's place... But I think It's time to share some more.
--------------------------------------
The Flash AttacksPray For Death
Great band out of Maryland. Actually found them on Shitspace, ha. Not sure what genre you'd call them... traditional? Meh. Great band.
http://www.mediafire.com/?nyuhystjwil
4/27/2008
Living A Life In Bronze
I need to get out... not just out of Auschwitz, but out of Alaska. I hate it here. 15 years in a frozen cage doesn't get fun. It just gets worse and worse.
Not to mention that the fucking darkness doesn't help my SAD shit or whatever. Every year I go through the same shit. Ups and downs. It's disgusting. It's exhausting. Not to mention, mixed in with normal teenage ups and downs. Fuck. There has to be a way.
I still have this hole by my crotch, I think it got bigger. Now not only can you see my boxers, but you can see some of my stupid leg. I'm just too lazy to sew it up.
Jamie's actually squatting. With other crusties. I feel left out. =\ Hopefully he makes some good friends. Maybe if I can ever get the fuck out of here, I can join in. But like I said, if we ever meet up again, I want him to slap/punch me. For all the bullshit, for all the conformity, for feeling like shit for so long. Hopefully it can knock some sense into me, and give Jamie a good throw at me. [We've never really gone at each other, and I've never been punched in the face, really.]
It strikes me as odd, really. Up into just recently, I've realized I have a huge build. Like, no shit. I'm taller than shit, and I'm built big as shit. I sorta want to actually do something with it. Or at least get fit. Not only that, but in all of the fights I've ever been in, none have really... I don't know. Like, Whenever I've gotten in a fight, or have been heavily moshing, I don't really feel a lot of pain. If anything, I'll run out of breath before I become unbearably aching. [Which, despite what's thought, I have a decent amount of stamina.] Now I feel like I'm selling myself. STFU >:
-------------------------------------------------------
I got my amp back. Slightly satisfying. Not entirely... I wish we could all jam once again. Fuck. I miss Jamie. I miss Koa, despite his recent doucheness. Fuck. Through the whole year or so that I've known the guys, they've felt like family. People I can actually relate to... Perhaps that's why I was ok with being single at the time, because I was so preoccupied with them. [Not like that.]
Now It's the opposite. Socializing is nothing short of meaningless conversation. Every once in a while me and Erica go about politics and such. That's always OK I guess. It's funny... at least 80% of the time she agrees with me. So why does she thing we go about what we believe in the wrong way? And so she punishes me for it.
It's times like now I wish there was SOMEONE here. It could be a hobo for all I care. I just wish I could actually socialize with someone person to person who ISN'T a complete Hypocrite and Tyrant. When you have intelligent conversations with authoritarian figures, you always get the 'because I said so.' It doesn't have to be a said remark, it can just come from a feeling. And I hate it.
----------------------------------------------------
Living here, there is no excitement. There's no fun. Hell, I sleep most of the time. [Which might explain why I can never get to sleep when it's actually time to go to bed.] All Erica does is play games and watch TV. [usually stupid 'reality' shows.] If anyone in their right mind thinks that reality shows are how the world actually is need to be shot on sight. That just proves how lazy people are, that they need shows to simulate life. There's no such thing.
Otherwise, I think I'm done ranting for the night. I'm gonna try and entertain myself until I fall asleep.
Night.
Not to mention that the fucking darkness doesn't help my SAD shit or whatever. Every year I go through the same shit. Ups and downs. It's disgusting. It's exhausting. Not to mention, mixed in with normal teenage ups and downs. Fuck. There has to be a way.
I still have this hole by my crotch, I think it got bigger. Now not only can you see my boxers, but you can see some of my stupid leg. I'm just too lazy to sew it up.
Jamie's actually squatting. With other crusties. I feel left out. =\ Hopefully he makes some good friends. Maybe if I can ever get the fuck out of here, I can join in. But like I said, if we ever meet up again, I want him to slap/punch me. For all the bullshit, for all the conformity, for feeling like shit for so long. Hopefully it can knock some sense into me, and give Jamie a good throw at me. [We've never really gone at each other, and I've never been punched in the face, really.]
It strikes me as odd, really. Up into just recently, I've realized I have a huge build. Like, no shit. I'm taller than shit, and I'm built big as shit. I sorta want to actually do something with it. Or at least get fit. Not only that, but in all of the fights I've ever been in, none have really... I don't know. Like, Whenever I've gotten in a fight, or have been heavily moshing, I don't really feel a lot of pain. If anything, I'll run out of breath before I become unbearably aching. [Which, despite what's thought, I have a decent amount of stamina.] Now I feel like I'm selling myself. STFU >:
-------------------------------------------------------
I got my amp back. Slightly satisfying. Not entirely... I wish we could all jam once again. Fuck. I miss Jamie. I miss Koa, despite his recent doucheness. Fuck. Through the whole year or so that I've known the guys, they've felt like family. People I can actually relate to... Perhaps that's why I was ok with being single at the time, because I was so preoccupied with them. [Not like that.]
Now It's the opposite. Socializing is nothing short of meaningless conversation. Every once in a while me and Erica go about politics and such. That's always OK I guess. It's funny... at least 80% of the time she agrees with me. So why does she thing we go about what we believe in the wrong way? And so she punishes me for it.
It's times like now I wish there was SOMEONE here. It could be a hobo for all I care. I just wish I could actually socialize with someone person to person who ISN'T a complete Hypocrite and Tyrant. When you have intelligent conversations with authoritarian figures, you always get the 'because I said so.' It doesn't have to be a said remark, it can just come from a feeling. And I hate it.
----------------------------------------------------
Living here, there is no excitement. There's no fun. Hell, I sleep most of the time. [Which might explain why I can never get to sleep when it's actually time to go to bed.] All Erica does is play games and watch TV. [usually stupid 'reality' shows.] If anyone in their right mind thinks that reality shows are how the world actually is need to be shot on sight. That just proves how lazy people are, that they need shows to simulate life. There's no such thing.
Otherwise, I think I'm done ranting for the night. I'm gonna try and entertain myself until I fall asleep.
Night.
Keep Out Of Reach Of Children
I think my Soy Milk went bad. I got a new guitar, but no amp to play on. Fuck. I'm bored. My sister doesn't know how to buy anything without meat in it. I'm tempted to start eating Vegan just to piss her off more.
I'm not sure why she thought giving me computer privileges would make things better. Hell, I'm not even sure why she took them away. Maybe so I wouldn't talk bad about her. What a bitch. [I'm not that offensive toward others, Don't worry. It's just humor.]
I've pretty much given up the idea of posting albums. I doubt anyone [besides my friends, who listen to more or less the same shit,] Reads this. So, unless anyone objects, no more albums. <<
-----------------------------------
I use lines like this^ all the time. It helps me think of a new paragraph. Gives it some structure. I'm a little bit OC about certain things. ANYWAY; If there's one thing I regret now, it would be going through with the idiotic assumption that walking out of a store full of things you never bought would last long. Fucking stupid. If that never have happened, Things would probably be exactly the way they were. [Minus Jamie.] Ick. It's been... A long while since I've seen the guys. I'm depressed. I'm even more saddened that I couldn't see Jamie off. My tyrant of a sister... I swear, I'll never look back once I'm out. Fuck this.
Now, most of you would expect me to run away, which I tried already, to no avail. Our would-be squat was frozen shut, and climbing through the window is not only conspicuous, but time-wasting at fucking tiring. It was by pure luck that I got in, that one time anyway, because the window-sills were actually dry. If I tried now, I wouldn't be able to get in. Stupid fucking weather, man. It's been wacky for a couple weeks now.
Basically what I'm saying is, I'm screwed. Unless Summer decides to poke it's head out of Winter's vagina anytime soon, I'm fucked. My shorts have a hole in the crotch. Fun.
---------------------------------------------
I've probably misspelled thousands of words at this point, so I'll switch over to Firefox now...
Oh wow.
I only misspelled 3 words. Amazing. O_O
Jaz-lessons payoff, yo.
---------------------------------------------
So, 2:35 AM now. There's still a strong dissatisfaction in my gut. This blog isn't helping a whole hell of a lot. I'm not hungry, I don't have to piss, I don't have to shit, and I'm pretty sure I'm not erect. So why this... emptiness? Maybe a little lonely. Angst would have left me by now due to expression. So what is this? I'm not exactly bored. Perhaps my gut has finally demands to GTFO of this place.
Or maybe I'm just fucking stupid. In either case, I think I'm gonna head to bed. Surprisingly all this writing has given me heavy eyelids.
Night
I'm not sure why she thought giving me computer privileges would make things better. Hell, I'm not even sure why she took them away. Maybe so I wouldn't talk bad about her. What a bitch. [I'm not that offensive toward others, Don't worry. It's just humor.]
I've pretty much given up the idea of posting albums. I doubt anyone [besides my friends, who listen to more or less the same shit,] Reads this. So, unless anyone objects, no more albums. <<
-----------------------------------
I use lines like this^ all the time. It helps me think of a new paragraph. Gives it some structure. I'm a little bit OC about certain things. ANYWAY; If there's one thing I regret now, it would be going through with the idiotic assumption that walking out of a store full of things you never bought would last long. Fucking stupid. If that never have happened, Things would probably be exactly the way they were. [Minus Jamie.] Ick. It's been... A long while since I've seen the guys. I'm depressed. I'm even more saddened that I couldn't see Jamie off. My tyrant of a sister... I swear, I'll never look back once I'm out. Fuck this.
Now, most of you would expect me to run away, which I tried already, to no avail. Our would-be squat was frozen shut, and climbing through the window is not only conspicuous, but time-wasting at fucking tiring. It was by pure luck that I got in, that one time anyway, because the window-sills were actually dry. If I tried now, I wouldn't be able to get in. Stupid fucking weather, man. It's been wacky for a couple weeks now.
Basically what I'm saying is, I'm screwed. Unless Summer decides to poke it's head out of Winter's vagina anytime soon, I'm fucked. My shorts have a hole in the crotch. Fun.
---------------------------------------------
I've probably misspelled thousands of words at this point, so I'll switch over to Firefox now...
Oh wow.
I only misspelled 3 words. Amazing. O_O
Jaz-lessons payoff, yo.
---------------------------------------------
So, 2:35 AM now. There's still a strong dissatisfaction in my gut. This blog isn't helping a whole hell of a lot. I'm not hungry, I don't have to piss, I don't have to shit, and I'm pretty sure I'm not erect. So why this... emptiness? Maybe a little lonely. Angst would have left me by now due to expression. So what is this? I'm not exactly bored. Perhaps my gut has finally demands to GTFO of this place.
Or maybe I'm just fucking stupid. In either case, I think I'm gonna head to bed. Surprisingly all this writing has given me heavy eyelids.
Night
4/22/2008
Apathy Sucks
I don't even care anymore. Fuck. I've broken. I feel like shit. They can't tell. Ever since they talked to me... I just havn't cared. I want to blow my brains out. I want to die. Why wont they let me live how I want. Leave me alone. I'm not a productive member of society. I don't want to be one. Fuck you. Die... just die... Fuck. I don't care. I can't care. If I do, I'll suicide. I can't believe this is how pathetic I am. Fuck. Just die. I can't... Someone help... I want to get out of here. I hate it here... I'm useless...
4/15/2008
Dubalicious
So a couple of things.
I've been thinking over a plan in my head for a while. One that will rid Fairbanks of McDonald's; at least temporarily. It's semi non-Anarchistic in thought, but in our current situations it will have to do.
It deals with one-or all-of us getting a job at the same McDonald's. We work there for a while, get familiar with the place, how it works, etc. Then, we wait for the health inspection, assuming it comes in soon. At that time, we will operate; Releasing rats, planting unsanitary items, etc. The joint would have to get shutdown. [Hell, look at the Wendy's across from Joan's.]
There are a few flaws though. For one, we could be linked together. 1 person working at the same one might work, but multiple could make them suspicious. All of us working at different McDonald's... might work. But still, we can be linked together.
Another way at looking at this is not in a brand-name, but Capitalistic fast-food in general. One in McDonald's, One in Wendy's, One in Carl's JR, ect?
Meh. Comments, Suggestions, and Opinions, please.
Number two, Dub Punk. I think I'm in love with it. I loved listening to my mom's Dub and Reggae stuff back when she was into it. Mixed with punk? Scatgasm. It's fun stuff... Makes me feel good. It's like punk, but less Angsty [Not necessarily bad] and more relaxing. I suppose it's my equivalent to the other guys' Ska stuff. Meh... I'll listen to Ska and enjoy it, but I'm not a big fan of it. It's just good for the Skanking. :P
Three, I need alcohol. No joke. I haven't had a good drink in a while... and I think I'm overdue. [Is it odd that sometimes I'm more expressive on here than I am on a more personal blog?] eh. I'm just stupid when it comes to written expression. But yea... I want to get drunk... REALLY drunk, one more time with all the guys.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.A.I.N
Oh My God! We're Doing It!
Fucking Dub Punk, FUCK YES. Oh My God! Is in my opinion my favorite album. British Justice makes me spew joy in my pants. DOWNLOAD IT!!!
http://www.mediafire.com/?xyeye8lqu5z
I've been thinking over a plan in my head for a while. One that will rid Fairbanks of McDonald's; at least temporarily. It's semi non-Anarchistic in thought, but in our current situations it will have to do.
It deals with one-or all-of us getting a job at the same McDonald's. We work there for a while, get familiar with the place, how it works, etc. Then, we wait for the health inspection, assuming it comes in soon. At that time, we will operate; Releasing rats, planting unsanitary items, etc. The joint would have to get shutdown. [Hell, look at the Wendy's across from Joan's.]
There are a few flaws though. For one, we could be linked together. 1 person working at the same one might work, but multiple could make them suspicious. All of us working at different McDonald's... might work. But still, we can be linked together.
Another way at looking at this is not in a brand-name, but Capitalistic fast-food in general. One in McDonald's, One in Wendy's, One in Carl's JR, ect?
Meh. Comments, Suggestions, and Opinions, please.
Number two, Dub Punk. I think I'm in love with it. I loved listening to my mom's Dub and Reggae stuff back when she was into it. Mixed with punk? Scatgasm. It's fun stuff... Makes me feel good. It's like punk, but less Angsty [Not necessarily bad] and more relaxing. I suppose it's my equivalent to the other guys' Ska stuff. Meh... I'll listen to Ska and enjoy it, but I'm not a big fan of it. It's just good for the Skanking. :P
Three, I need alcohol. No joke. I haven't had a good drink in a while... and I think I'm overdue. [Is it odd that sometimes I'm more expressive on here than I am on a more personal blog?] eh. I'm just stupid when it comes to written expression. But yea... I want to get drunk... REALLY drunk, one more time with all the guys.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.A.I.NOh My God! We're Doing It!
Fucking Dub Punk, FUCK YES. Oh My God! Is in my opinion my favorite album. British Justice makes me spew joy in my pants. DOWNLOAD IT!!!
http://www.mediafire.com/?xyeye8lqu5z
4/14/2008
The Freedom Of Free
That sounds like a good song... huh...
Anyway, blog. So I've been thinking about this whole bored/non-active stuff lately. I've even seen a councilor about it. It's senseless. Why am I back at a councilor's place? Why? Goddamn it. I feel semi-fine now. Things are going to get a lot better. [Minus the whole everyone leaving part.]
Jamie quit his job early. 10 days of pure adventure. YES. A little over a week to fuck off and create a little N-R-KEY. <_<
Otherwise, Koa's back on my good side, for the most part. He wasn't an ass. In fact he even started suggesting dropping meat. [Although the thought started after hearing about Sean (cool dude, kind of an Indie guy.) being a Vegetarian as well.] Going with the flow? Who knows. Hopefully not.
So my mom's been bitching at me about schoolwork. I fucking hate schoolwork. Why do I still have schoolwork? Ah, right. Laws. Fucking laws. Fuck Laws. I want to get emancipated...
That seems to be the overall time-line planned out right now. Hang out with Jamie for as long as possible, then go to the show, drift along with what I've got until summer, Hang out with Koa in Anchorage for a little, then wait until August to get emancipated.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contravene
A Call To Action/Contravene
These two are the only works of Contravene I can find. I've been obsessed with this band for a while now. It's slower Crust influenced by Peace Punk. Great songs, Great lyrics. Very awesome band.
http://www.mediafire.com/?5pdulcn22yd
Anyway, blog. So I've been thinking about this whole bored/non-active stuff lately. I've even seen a councilor about it. It's senseless. Why am I back at a councilor's place? Why? Goddamn it. I feel semi-fine now. Things are going to get a lot better. [Minus the whole everyone leaving part.]
Jamie quit his job early. 10 days of pure adventure. YES. A little over a week to fuck off and create a little N-R-KEY. <_<
Otherwise, Koa's back on my good side, for the most part. He wasn't an ass. In fact he even started suggesting dropping meat. [Although the thought started after hearing about Sean (cool dude, kind of an Indie guy.) being a Vegetarian as well.] Going with the flow? Who knows. Hopefully not.
So my mom's been bitching at me about schoolwork. I fucking hate schoolwork. Why do I still have schoolwork? Ah, right. Laws. Fucking laws. Fuck Laws. I want to get emancipated...
That seems to be the overall time-line planned out right now. Hang out with Jamie for as long as possible, then go to the show, drift along with what I've got until summer, Hang out with Koa in Anchorage for a little, then wait until August to get emancipated.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ContraveneA Call To Action/Contravene
These two are the only works of Contravene I can find. I've been obsessed with this band for a while now. It's slower Crust influenced by Peace Punk. Great songs, Great lyrics. Very awesome band.
http://www.mediafire.com/?5pdulcn22yd
4/05/2008
Tilting At Windmills
Blarg. Can't do anything. Right now though, I have to say that there's a lot of detachment going on... Koa and John apparently have turned the tables. it is not them who are the money-eaters, but it is Jamie. Yes, they officially have a conspiracy that Jamie is now working just for plain cash. I tried to explain that he just wants some money to start off on, but of coarse John has to be the know it all. "But he's going to be squatting down there!"
No shit. But you can't just up and squat. Besides, how else does one get their Veggie-Burger? Jaz says security is tight in New York. Meh... Jamie says there's more people to obscure view. We shall see. But anyway, back to Detachment.
Between John's know-it-all Macho-man Dickfaceness and Koa's obsession with taking something, changing a few things about it and selling it for cash fetish/Racist and Sexist remarks, I'm a bit disappointed. When you become an Anarchist... a lot of things change. Like we've said time and time again, Anarchism is a complete lifestyle. You can't just sin and atone for it later, this is the real world. Just the way the two act sometimes and the things they do, just bother me. 'How can I consider these my Anarchist pals?" I'm sure I'm not as perfect as they come, but I try to realize it and fix it.
It's Monday... Time to see what Jamie's up to. If he'll show up >:
-------------------------------------------------------------
AntiProduct
The EPs of AP/The Deafening Silence of Grinding Gears
I promised two Albums, and I stick to my word. Plenty of AntiProduct for listening pleasure.
I find it difficult to find information or even pictures of the band, as another, more popular band has the same name. They look like a bunch of Mindless Self Indulgence wanna-be's. But who am I to judge? I may be looked down upon no less than them.
ALSO: They're Media-Fire downloads now! Easy and fast!
http://www.mediafire.com/?3zz4j9mf31l
http://www.mediafire.com/?jyasw5mnus0
No shit. But you can't just up and squat. Besides, how else does one get their Veggie-Burger? Jaz says security is tight in New York. Meh... Jamie says there's more people to obscure view. We shall see. But anyway, back to Detachment.
Between John's know-it-all Macho-man Dickfaceness and Koa's obsession with taking something, changing a few things about it and selling it for cash fetish/Racist and Sexist remarks, I'm a bit disappointed. When you become an Anarchist... a lot of things change. Like we've said time and time again, Anarchism is a complete lifestyle. You can't just sin and atone for it later, this is the real world. Just the way the two act sometimes and the things they do, just bother me. 'How can I consider these my Anarchist pals?" I'm sure I'm not as perfect as they come, but I try to realize it and fix it.
It's Monday... Time to see what Jamie's up to. If he'll show up >:
-------------------------------------------------------------
AntiProductThe EPs of AP/The Deafening Silence of Grinding Gears
I promised two Albums, and I stick to my word. Plenty of AntiProduct for listening pleasure.
I find it difficult to find information or even pictures of the band, as another, more popular band has the same name. They look like a bunch of Mindless Self Indulgence wanna-be's. But who am I to judge? I may be looked down upon no less than them.
ALSO: They're Media-Fire downloads now! Easy and fast!
http://www.mediafire.com/?3zz4j9mf31l
http://www.mediafire.com/?jyasw5mnus0
4/02/2008
Jamming and Depression
Holy shit. It's been a long-ass week. I'm tired everyday coming home. I can't get up in the morning. It's natural.
You see, this is testing week... so I have to set my alarm for about 7:00 every morning. I'm glad that I did, too, because I'm extremely unmotivated to do *sigh* schoolwork, so I end up actually getting up around 8:00, and it takes at least... 45 minutes to an hour to get all the way downtown. Nice.
After testing, I've been ritualistically going over to Koa's. It's only natural since we finally have a drum-set... and that Jamie is working like a damn drone. Eh. I doubt he enjoys it anymore than ANYONE in his social life does.
Monday, I think we jammed. A lot. I came home that night with soar-ass fingers. I'm surprised I didn't get a blister. The next day, the original plan was to Jam again, but we ended up hauling his big ass couch and some random useless shit that he also had stored in that fucking thing. That night, it was my wrists. I could barely ball a fist without my ligaments trying to explode. Then, today, we ended up walking about in a craving for Free-Running. Ended up lifting some snacks from Fred Myers. John got himself a serving of video-games. Not exactly sure what he plans to do with them. Sell them? Capitalist. :noid
Speaking of John, after our little walk when he got home, apparently he received some nasty blisters and bruises on his feet, blisters on his inner thighs, and he said his ass was bleeding temporarily. Why did he tell me these things? Fuck if I know. Because of these things, he's not coming to Koa's tomorrow. Suits me just fine, we were going to jam again, seeing as we now have a mic for Jamie. [Hopefully he can show up =\ ]
I've still been feeling 'meh'. Depression? Maybe. More of an... Angry/Lonely depression. Obviously I'll never be satisfied until things are changed in our society, but theres just this part of me that demands change. I do the same things, in the same town, in the same manner, all the time. Repetitive. [ I can't imagine how Jaz gets by x_x ] I want to live how I've always wanted to live. And after thought, I want to do it with some company of my own... I've been single for... fuck, a while now. And it was cool, I didn't care... but lately I have to admit, it's been a bit lonely and drab.
Ah, but whatever, right? I'll just have to wait. Fuck, it's already 10. The next test is the Mathematics test. Not only my weak point, but my great disinterest point. Mathematics bore the shit out me. Intensely.
---------------------------------------------------
Anyway, after blowing so much smoke out of my ass, I feel unmotivated to post an album. Sorry. I promise you that I'll post two albums the next post. [I know how these expressive blog-rants go. You feel like shit writing them and finishing them, but you feel a whole lot better the day after.] So, goodnight.
Peace,
Jesse
You see, this is testing week... so I have to set my alarm for about 7:00 every morning. I'm glad that I did, too, because I'm extremely unmotivated to do *sigh* schoolwork, so I end up actually getting up around 8:00, and it takes at least... 45 minutes to an hour to get all the way downtown. Nice.
After testing, I've been ritualistically going over to Koa's. It's only natural since we finally have a drum-set... and that Jamie is working like a damn drone. Eh. I doubt he enjoys it anymore than ANYONE in his social life does.
Monday, I think we jammed. A lot. I came home that night with soar-ass fingers. I'm surprised I didn't get a blister. The next day, the original plan was to Jam again, but we ended up hauling his big ass couch and some random useless shit that he also had stored in that fucking thing. That night, it was my wrists. I could barely ball a fist without my ligaments trying to explode. Then, today, we ended up walking about in a craving for Free-Running. Ended up lifting some snacks from Fred Myers. John got himself a serving of video-games. Not exactly sure what he plans to do with them. Sell them? Capitalist. :noid
Speaking of John, after our little walk when he got home, apparently he received some nasty blisters and bruises on his feet, blisters on his inner thighs, and he said his ass was bleeding temporarily. Why did he tell me these things? Fuck if I know. Because of these things, he's not coming to Koa's tomorrow. Suits me just fine, we were going to jam again, seeing as we now have a mic for Jamie. [Hopefully he can show up =\ ]
I've still been feeling 'meh'. Depression? Maybe. More of an... Angry/Lonely depression. Obviously I'll never be satisfied until things are changed in our society, but theres just this part of me that demands change. I do the same things, in the same town, in the same manner, all the time. Repetitive. [ I can't imagine how Jaz gets by x_x ] I want to live how I've always wanted to live. And after thought, I want to do it with some company of my own... I've been single for... fuck, a while now. And it was cool, I didn't care... but lately I have to admit, it's been a bit lonely and drab.
Ah, but whatever, right? I'll just have to wait. Fuck, it's already 10. The next test is the Mathematics test. Not only my weak point, but my great disinterest point. Mathematics bore the shit out me. Intensely.
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Anyway, after blowing so much smoke out of my ass, I feel unmotivated to post an album. Sorry. I promise you that I'll post two albums the next post. [I know how these expressive blog-rants go. You feel like shit writing them and finishing them, but you feel a whole lot better the day after.] So, goodnight.
Peace,
Jesse
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